dashboard confessional
You’re all off watching that football game, right? This would be a great time to get some things off my chest, then. No one will ever see it!
Ok. I hate Eric Clapton. I hated, hated, hated, Forrest Gump. In fact, I hate almost all Tom Hanks movies and I think the only worthwhile thing he did besides Toy Story was Bachelor Party. I couldn’t get through A Confederacy of Dunces. I think Hemingway is boring. I hate Kings of Leon. I sometimes listen to - and dance to - Bye, Bye, Bye. I unironically love the Power Rangers movie and Mr. Belvedere. I never let go of my crush on Chris Jericho. I was a Dead Head in high school. I once voted for Ross Perot. I am sitting on the computer writing this stupid shit while Todd is doing my laundry.
Derek and the Dominoes and Blind Faith were the only good things Clapton was ever associated with; John Mayall deserved better. Forrest Gump was a facile, overhyped ode to mediocrity that rewrote history for no good reason. A Confederacy of Dunces is sometimes brilliant, occasionally funny, but borderline unreadable; it’s tied hopelessly to a time long past and its author’s suicide as given it a reputation it doesn’t really deserve. Hemingway’s short stories are far superior to his novels, which are almost uniformly dire. Steinbeck was a much better writer. I don’t listen to Kings of Leon and can’t comment on them. Bye Bye Bye has a good beat and you can dance to it, I’ll give it an 82 Dick. I never cared for Power rangers or Mr. Belvedere, though the latter was saved for me by the presence of Bob Uecker. I was a Dead Head from 1988 to pretty much the present day, though I stopped going to shows the year before Jerry died as the parking lot scene was getting too fucked up for words. I voted GOP from 1996 through 2004, at which point I got fed up and started voting my conscience. I am sitting on the computer writing this while the game goes on in the background and my wife feeds our son.
I will say this about Forrest Gump—go read the book. The book is so much better than the film. The book contains none of the maudlin pathos that ruined the movie. The book is more real than the film, which was really ruined by the fact that Robert Zemeckis was the director. In fact, the author of the book, Winston Groom, was all but forgotten when they handed out the awards, if I’m remembering this correctly.
